Radical change is happening right now. It feels all I can do is cry or get angry. And at times just not want to feel. In the past I would have likened this to a Phoenix, but now I feel more like a pile of compost. All hot and moist. this might explain the night sweats and tears that are readily available at a moments notice. The hardest part is finding out how all this is affecting every area of my life and every person in it as well.
I feel lost in all this. Not knowing which way to turn or which way I am going. I don't feel authentic right now, mainly because I don't fully know who I am or who I am becoming. I fear all the change. I fear that who I become will not fit in with my current life. I don't want to lose my life and those in it who mean so much to me. I know what ever is happening is a major life change. I will either change these things about myself now or it will never happen. I know deep inside these things are not beneficial. But who will I be is a very scary question. Time to have faith and trust that everything will turn out the way it is supposed to.
